Do you feel understood?

Day 82: One thing I learned today…

Feeling understood is a fundamental human need. Understanding builds connection between people and enhances psychological well-being. These feelings can even have a healing effect.

A research study was conducted on feeling understood vs not feeling understood. Participants were provided statements after a story.

Understood Statements:

I understand why you were feeling that way

I would have reacted the same way

I see why that was a big deal

Then asked to rate on a scale 1-5 - How understood do you feel?

Not Understood Statements:

I had trouble connecting with your story

I don’t understand why you were feeling that way

I am not sure why that affected you so much

Then asked to rate on a scale 1-5 - How understood do you feel?

Participants underwent functional magnetic resonance imaging. Results showed those feeling understood activated areas associated with reward and social connection. When participants did not feel understood, areas associated with negative affect were activate.

Source:

Kelley, K. J., & Kelley, M. (2013). Teaching empathy and other compassion-based communication skills. Journal for Nurses in Professional Development.

Morelli, S. A., Torre, J. B., & Eisenberger, N. I. (2014). The neural bases of feeling understood and not understood. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 9(12), 1890–1896.